Finding job, going to school, having baby were brought on one after another. The poor income, the busy life, and uncertain career made us move swiftly. So the sorrow, the jealous, the unbalanced envy, the disappointment, the hardship of living, the bitterness of marries, the scoffing eyes from visiting family members, the unceasing quarrels, some strange fights float around the family and marriage. Once, I wanted to run away from this painful and suffering marriage. Once I gave her a paper to initiate the separation. Many times I cried like a baby when the situation were so hopeless. They were never hungry, nor illness caused me so much pain, but the unfaithfulness, the poverty, the unreachable others living, the daily toils that my spouse brought upon blames on me. Although I knew that my Lord would provide, but was not certain in which way. Although I trusted myself but knew not the future, nor had good people or friends around us to help us as they needed more help than us. A reality between our marriage was hanging on who could make more money and fast. IN fact, none of us did so to ease the tension within the family. I remember those day of that she tore my bibles, my rarely renewed shirt, my wood Cross from the wall. I remembered that she broke plates, cups, and picture frames from time to time when we were quarrelling. She even hurt me by kicking and fisting. I also remembered that she went out alone and returned not phone calls. How did I survive from all these terrible things? I did not know any better ways but looked upon the cross where my Lord Jesus died. Whenever I compared what I suffered to what Jesus bore for us, my pain and angry went away. The strength to live another day came back to me. I knew that the Lord wants me to carry this suffering yet he continues to provide strength to me. \
I did not make enough money for years after years, over last 11 years. My spouse shouted at me daily to order me to move out in front of the faces of the kids. what a shame I faced from time to time. But I knew that she could not change nor can repent her sins of her unfaithfulness and money first mind. I continue to bear her insults and pray for the healing of her brokenness coming to her soon. If my G-d have forgiven my sins, how can I withhold her sins against me and Him? I wrote above not to condemn her but to share with you how to lead a faithful living under such a tremendous pressure and torturing. It has been a family war or a marriage war since 11 years ago. When I shared that the strength came from the Lord Jesus Christ, it was not a feeling, but it has been the reality as when this strength arrives in my heart, I can forgive and live joyfully, confidently, and faithfully. For through such intensive trials in keeping marriage and covenant, G-d my Father has forged me in every way to follow Him and trust Him. Unless the death will separate us, I will not separate her. For loving the Lord has my top priority in my pilgrim journey.
How about you my friend? are you in trouble or suffering in your marriage? Have you been faithful to the Lord? Fix your eyes on the Lord for He will strength you and keep you. For what G-d united, let no one separates them. May the Lord bless you and keep you in good health and good faith. Amen.